I have tabled up a list of the 10 most common blogging tips that I know of that will guarantee to make you look like you have got absolutely no idea what you are doing. And why wouldn’t you want to know what you are doing? Well, for one very important point. People who know what they are doing succeed.

1. Don’t change your permalinks! Leave them so that they look like http://www.topwordpressthemes.info/?p=123 If you do this, then you are guaranteed that people will look at you and wonder how much of a newbie you really are! Not only that, but this will also impact your search engine rankings, as you will not be using any keywords in your URL’s, and at the same time, it will just look like a newbie owns and runs that blog.
2. Change your theme every 25 minutes – If you want to look like the ultimate newbie, change your theme every two minutes. This will confuse your users, make them wonder if they are still browsing the same time, most likely affect your SEO in a bad way as some themes have better SEO than others, and at the same time, it will make you look like you have no idea what you are doing.
3. Install your blog in the “WordPress” directory – Classic way to make yourself look like a complete newbie. This just shows that you are not creative, and that you can’t be bothered installing into the root directory. One of my favourite ways to make myself look like a complete newbie.
4. Write 300 posts using 300 categories – This is a very easy way to make yourself look like you have no idea what you are doing, also great for a giggle too! Create a category for absolutely everything! As a classic example, lets create a category for Cars, then add sub categories like red cars, green cars, aqua cars, gold cars, then under each one of those, we will add manual and automatic, then under each, lets add 4 cylinder, 6 cylinder and V8. Confuse the hell out of your readers by doing this as well, and don’t include your posts under the main parent category either. This one always gets a good laugh!
5. Take a shot at Social Networking services because they banned you – Yes, this is one of our favourites, almost worth starting a whole new blog for that one purpose. Having a go at Google because they banned you from AdSense, or taking a shot at Digg because they banned you for asking your friends to Digg your article is always amusing because it is like screaming at a brick wall. It won’t yell back at you because you can’t damage it. Try it sometime. Hilarity always ensues.
6. Use stupid post titles – This one can be hilarious. Use utterly crazy post titles like “Today sucked”, or “Emma is such a n00b cake!”, or even better, “eye h8 lyf so hard rite nao!”, these will almost guarantee that you will cause all kinds of chaos in your comments. This is even more fun to pull if you have an established blog with a PR of 5 – 6 with a couple of thousand hits a day. I can guarantee that even the most experienced blogger and publisher will look like a newbie in t-minus 3 seconds.
7. Don’t use title case – Not quite as effective, but there are a lot of grammar freaks out there who will happily put you down for this. Create a new title such as “How to make Money in three Days”, or even better, “how to make money in three days”. This is pure brilliance. This is best used in combination with suggestion number 6 for maximum effect.
8. Post erratically – Make about 30 posts in your first day of running your blog, then disappear for about 4 months. Then come back, make about 5 more posts, then disappear for about 5 weeks, then come back and make another 13 posts that are completely unrelated. This will always make you look like you have no idea what you are doing. Results are guaranteed!
9. Beg huge blogs and sites for backlinks – This one is a guaranteed winner. When your blog has been running for one day, and you have received your first view, write an e-mail to Facebook and ask them for a backlink. When they deny you, tell them that Google have already offered you a backlink on their search engine. Works a treat! While you are at it, write to as many unrelated blogs as you can and request backlinks from them, and I am talking PR6 and above blogs. Write to WordPress as well, and ask them to feature them on their front page. This is seriously a guaranteed winner.
10. Focus on only one narrow topic – Make sure to cover only one topic on your blog. Those people who cover a ton of things on their blog like Dog Breeding, Hiking, Camping, Computers and IT, Web Design, Barbie Dolls, and the latest on Lindsay Lohan’s rehab fails, they look too professional. Making it known that you only know one topic will make you look so well informed!

So there we have it! These are my favourite ways to make myself look like a blogging newbie. Just as a quick disclaimer, I mean no offense to anyone by posting this, this is merely a joke intended at pointing out what you really shouldn’t be doing as a blog owner, and more than anything, bringing some humour to this situation. Using the reverse of this should give you a good start!

Running a blog is serious business, and there is a lot that can be achieved through owning a blog. These are simply some of the things that you need to avoid, in a humorous context of course.

In other news, I will be providing 10 ways to look like a blogging pro soon, although, this will not be humorous. These will be serious tips on how to find success in blogging!